Fear is an incredibly wasteful use of our very precious time.

Believe in Yourself

The early bird catches the sunrise!

Based on all of the messages I’ve received since the New Year, I thought that I would write about something that seems to be on the minds of quite a few people.

There seems to be quite a few of us that know we have “gifts’, in fact we probably have known that we have had these gifts since we were little ones.   But because we either didn’t have parents who were open to it, or we were just too afraid to talk about it, we took our experiences (seeing spirits, hearing spirits, having prophetic dreams, knowing things about family or friends that we had no way of knowing) and did our very best to forget them, hide them never to be seen or heard from again.  But luckily for many of us, our Creator doesn’t want that to be the case because the truth is we are all better people for having realized our gifts and used them to help ourselves and others.

So what to do about the “fear”…. First I want to say that you are not alone in this feeling.

There comes a point in our life’s, in our experience that we realize that our gifts are special and are no longer meant to be feared.  But with that there also comes confusion ~ where to start, who to talk to, what books to read, what modalities to consider, what gifts do we nurture vs. what gifts we shut out. 

Some people who have been blessed with gifts (such as clairvoyance, prophetic dreams, empathic ability, communication with spirit, etc.) are actually told early on or later in life what they are supposed to do with their gifts, or even what their path is and how they should go about following their “life’s journey” ~ They hear “a voice” telling them what to do, there is an unmistakable knowing.  But there are more of us then not that are supposed to find it out on our own, because that is part of our lesson, our journey. 

I can give you a “starting point”, as it has been given to me by spirit, but I can’t tell you exactly what you should do or what decision to make as that is up to you.  Most people have more than one “gift”, and I want to ask everyone, that if you know healing to be one of those gifts, that it should be one of the modalities that we should all consider adding to genre of modalities that we are capable of doing. Why? You ask, because what a wonderful place our earth will be if everyone who had some type of healing ability could nurture it and use it to help heal others and the world…well you get the picture, what a beautiful world this would be! 

OK ~ so let’s start ~ the beginning is always the best place to begin, it is incredibly helpful for you to write down a list of all the things, gifts, you have the ability to hold in your heart. So if healing is one of them start there – write it down. Can you speak to spirit? Can you see auras?  Next, what type of healing are you interested in? Do you feel a calling to any one thing in particular? Reiki Therapy, Light Energy Healing, Aura Reading, etc….  what other types of modalities are you interested in? Mediumship, Psychic Healing, Intuitive Counseling? I hope I’m making sense here.  There is so much power in writing it down. Then when you are done making a list of those abilities, write down a list of what types of healing or modalities you may be interested in learning about.  There are over 1500 holistic modalities in the world, so I would write down maybe the top ten to twenty that you have interest in, and then start narrowing down that by what ignites your passion.  What is it that makes you feel warm and fuzzy?  Once you have the top 5 or 6 things, start looking into them, look for classes or books that interest you which can give you tips or information about where to start learning about that “gift”. 

I have to admit, when I realized that sharing my gifts and using them to help others besides just myself,  was what made me feel “warm and fuzzy”,  I must have read over 50 books in two weeks.  That wasn’t my goal, I was just being “called” to read them. There was so much clarity in the information I was receiving.  I know that I was being guided, intuitively to read certain books and to watch certain videos, take certain classes, etc.  There are ways to do this so that you are not being charged an arm and a leg too; the best place to begin is the internet.  Amazon.com is a great resource, I found hundreds of books that were used and were in great condition, some as low as $1.00.  If you have ITunes, they have some great podcasts that are free to download and fun to listen to.  Hay House Publishing, www.hayhouse.com is probably the greatest resource for alternative therapies….they have books, videos, on demand workshops, they are the best, but they charge for most of their materials.  Prices range from FREE to a couple hundred dollars, they have cruises and trips that focus on groups interested in similar subjects, with authors and speakers who are absolutely fantastic!  There is also audible.com, this is a great place to go if you like listening to books while driving or cleaning house, they have a decent selection of audio books to listen to, but there are many books that will probably take years before they are out on audio. 

One of the common situations that people keep discussing with me also, is that they were in fear of their gifts and when they were little, they asked God to “take it all away”.  Some of it is pretty scary when you’re a small child, and it doesn’t help when your parents tell you that it’s just your imagination.  My advice ~ ask God, our Creator to help you learn how to “get back” your gifts and to help you desolve your fears around them. 

The place that I started was meditation, I feel it is the best place to begin. Meditation isn’t always about sitting in silence. It’s a place I use to communicate with spirit, my spirit guides, my angels and Creator. 

We have all been blessed with at least one spirit guide, some people have many.  Set your intention in meditation to meet your guides or your angels, talk with them, ask them to help guide you and what you should do, they will answer you! It takes commitment and you have to show up! You have to trust and listen.  The voice you hear first, as the messages from spirit and the angelic realm come quickly, is the voice you should trust.  Anything after that, let go of, because chances are that it is our ego stepping in trying to control the situation.  The more you trust in your gifts and abilities and the more you trust in the relationships that await you with your guides and angels the faster things will happen for you.  I know this sounds too easy, Right? Well, it is that easy! I swear!

I know it sounds silly, but when I finally decided to “Trust”, things happened so quickly for me and it felt so awesome! It felt like I got to open a beautifully wrapped present every day, whenever my finances began to stress me out, I would pull my head out of it and re-align my heart and head again to trusting…I’m not kidding when I say this either, but if I needed $100 for my kids for school, I would ask my angels for help and the next day there would be a check in the mailbox for $100…a refund from a doctor’s office saying I overpaid…I don’t remember ever paying them a dime….This is just an example, but what I am trying to say is that magical things happen everyday for me because of my desire and my trust in them and myself. 

I’m not saying that there aren’t days where I am in a bad mood or something crappy happens, but I am honestly at a place in my life now where if I say “Ok, I know that what is happening is for a reason, but it is not because bad things happen to me, it is because things just happen, it is part of life.”  I can turn it around.

In fact, I don’t look at things anymore as being “a bad thing”, it is the choice that we make to say “ok this thing just happened, I will figure out a way to overcome it or fix it and with that I will find a positive thing or beautiful lesson in it….”   It is how we choose to feel about things that creates our good or bad circumstances, how we look back on our lives, and how we choose to move forward.  There are folks out there that choose to not move at all and choose to stay stagnant in their lives. The Creator doesn’t do that to us, the Creator wants to co-create with us!!! There is movement and flow to that, co-creating is not stagnant!!!   

One other thing, I feel that this is actually really important ~ be sure that before you begin working on clients (or even helping out your friends), make sure that your “house” is in order, that you are aware of your “issues”.  I’m not saying your life needs to be perfect, or that all of your life’s lesson have to be positive and full of bright pretty lights, but be sure that if you have something in your life that is affecting you that you make a conscious effort to not let is transfer to your client (or friend) or affect your client (or friend) in any way!  If your issue is “transferring” energy to your client (or friend), chances are it is going to create an atmosphere of confusion in addition to what your client (or friend) is all ready dealing with.  It’s not fair to you or your client (or your friend).

Bright Blessings to all!

Take time to appreciate the little things

January 19, 2010

I know that there are days that happen to each and everyone of us that can only be explained as “unbelievable!”, and I don’t mean that in a positive tone.

I have learned a couple of things in life though, regardless of how bad our day has been, if we can keep our minds and our emotions on a calm, balanced level, things that can be construde as “bad hair days” can actually turn around.  If we can take a bad moment, the kind of moment that happens when the only word that wants to come out of your mouth is “bleep *^$$&* bleep ^*%##% bleep” (use your imagination to fill in the jumble and bleeps!) stop yourself and try to evaluate the situation.  I try rating on a level from 1 to 10, 1 being a fabulous terrific day can’t get much better kind of day and 10 being the worst day you can imagine…sorry don’t want to go there for fear of the Law of Attraction taking over….lol.

If you can rate it below a 6, you can probably turn it around, maybe not the event or situation but how youre looking at it.

My mother always used to say “Everything happens for a reason whether we want it to or not”.  She was right, but what she didn’t tell me that I have learned is that when things feel crappy, call upon your Archangels, your healing angels, your spirits guides or spirit friends to help you out, usually they will.  If there is a lesson in it for you to learn, great! But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer to learn it. 

The only lessons in life that I believe we have to go through for the only fact that we are human, is grief, losing something or someone.  Regardless of the level of pain, no matter how much it may hurt, no matter how long it may take you to get through it, before you begin to feel human again, the end result is a lesson that we have learned not just about grief, but also about love.  Generally it’s hard to grief for something or someone that you don’t care about.  It doesn’t touch your heart.  But with grief, when you lose someone you love by death, divorce, seperation or whatever reason it touches your heart and hurts in such a way that truly the only thing that can make it feel better is your decision to feel better, to heal, and to move on,,,time,,,it just takes time.  We can’t determine how much time it will take, for only our heart knows when it has truly healed.

So when things seem dark and your feeling down and out…try to see the positive, try to look at the good things that you do have, friends or family, a dog or cat, a good job or a nice car, or maybe something about yourself, it could be great hair or a beautiful smile…so look at what you have been blessed with, look at what you have completed and what is being done ….

Try to see yourself and your situation as clearly as possible for just a few moments without the emotional part of it, and see if it will shed some light on what may be making you feel so dark…

Wishing you a week filled with love, light and laughter!

Mich

BBall anyone?

January 17th, 2010

So, I’m doing pretty good I’m blogging ~ Day 3!

Today felt pretty non-eventful, getting up early to take my daughter Faith to her basketball practice.  And of course, we were 15 minutes late.  And I’m sad to say that in the moment my thought was “your lucky that we’re here at all!“

Honestly, after I thought it I felt bad about it.  Bless her heart, her coach, Stacy, has more tenacity in her pinkie than I probably have in my whole entire body.  I know that I would not be able to get up that early, be that energetic, and teach basketball to eight second graders while smiling.  So my thanks go out to her for taking such great care of my daughter and her friends!

So after practice I decided to take Faith to our local toy store, pretty relaxing as we cruised through the store until a very precocious salesclerk began to hover over us, I got the feeling she wasn’t being friendly but was making sure we weren’t stealing anything.  And have a feeling that she thought my daughter and I were trying to tag team her.  I had to laugh!

My husband arrived home from work the same time we arrived, I realized that I let out a loud sigh when I realized my Saturday afternoon plan of relaxing was now shot.

My husband enjoys hunting, since it’s been bird season, he has been gone every weekend for the past five weeks.  The first weekend was kind of strange getting used to the quiet, and no ESPN on the TV.  But I soon became accustomed to the relaxed energy of our home and the loss of pressure I felt of having to be productive every minute of every hour.  I know he doesn’t mean to put that energy out there for all of us to soak in, but I do believe it’s what he knows because that’s how he was brought up, that’s how his parents raised him.  And we all know that some habits are hard to break.  I too was raised this way, and after 10 years of psychotherapy and about $15,000 I’m almost free from it…  (insert giggle here!)

So it’s pretty late that’s about 1:30 AM, and it’s time for me to go to bed.  I have every intention of sleeping in until about 11:00 AM, taken a shower and going to my daughter’s basketball game!  They’re so much fun I’m actually looking forward to it!

Sweet dreams~

Wishing light, love and laughter to all!

Mich

What makes your heart grow!

January 16th, 2010

Just a quick blog, I promised myself I would start blogging everyday starting with the new year,,,ok, I know I started late, and I’m  two weeks and a day late…but I’m actually on “blog #2″  WoooooooHoooooooooooo!!!!!!!

So here is my New Year’s resolution in a more detailed fashion, actually more like a defined promise to myself, to blog, aka journal, my daily life each and every day. This as part of my growing/learning experience as I challenge myself to change for the better, to maintain a positive attitude to prove that the Law of Attraction Exists, to prove that asking your angels for help exists and to prove that there is something larger than us in this big beautiful world.

So my list of things to talk about…

• Experiences with Angels
• Experiences with Spirit Guides
• Law of Attraction ~ Does it really Exist? Yes!!!
• Changing for the Better, being a better person
• Something bigger than the both of us
  
• marriage is a big one
• how much my marriage has changed and evolved over the past 8 years.
• How my relationships around my marriage have changed, including those relationships with my children,,, that  ought to be a good one so stay tuned….
• My intuitive life, how far I’ve come, and what my future aspirations are surrounding that subject,
• My pets, the loss of two of beautiful fur babies, the grief is crushing and sometimes feels as if it is never ending.
• Meditation – What does it really look like for the average girl like me…
• Being a psychic medium, being intuitive, empathic
• Metaphysics
• My journey, starting back to school  to earn my PhD – Yeah for me! and AaaGggHhhh I’m scared!
• Music ~ what rocks your world, what rocks mine?
• Spirituality  ~ A mind set or a religion?

And it’s now 3:37 am in the morning and my husband is complaining about it and the fact that I’m a night owl and not a day person….

So goodnight for now….Love to all

Blessings, with light love and laughter to you this day and always.

Micha’ele

A light to guide me through the darkness of night

January 15, 20010

Which seems to be a problem for me lately.  My New Year’s resolution to myself was to try to be more consistent, to do things with heart and love, and to be conscientious of the small and large things in my life.  For some reason, whether it be that I’ve always got my head and heart in the spirit realm, or that I tend to be less grounded due to other issues that I am working on,  or if its because I seem to let all the little things that surround my life influence me and distract me from my “now” or if its just a really bad habit that I’ve acquired, but I’m always 5 to 10 minutes late to EVERYTHING!  It drives me nuts more than it does others…but I’m working on it.

So better late than not at all with this one…..I promised myself that as part of my life lessons and ongoing learning about myself and life….I want to blog everyday, even if it is only a paragraph…

So one down and 364 to go.  Minus 15 days that I couldn’t get my crap together….I’ll be starting two weeks and a day or two late.

It is with spirits blessing and my hearts commitment that with these blogs, I will use them to learn or address one thing each day that I feel my spirit can learn from…

Wishing everyone  a day filled with light, love and laughter!

Mich

Dreaming

Dreams are our minds way of dealing with our issues subconsciously, those things that are psyche can’t deal with in our waking hours.

Figure out what your subconscious is telling  you.  You hold the key to your life, dreams are our bodies way of working out problems that our conscious mind may be too “cluttered” to tell us.

Dreaming in color ~

Pay attention to the colors that appear in your dreams, like our own energy chakra’s, each having it’s own color, each color representing a vital piece of information into our spirit, personalities and lives.

For instance, Red can mean passion, love, vital energy and can also mean anger and frustration.

Not everyone dreams in color, but if you do, take note because each color has it’s own meaning, and this may possibly give you  important information into a matter that symbols cannot provide.

As a fan of Oprah and Eckarte Tolle and their “lessons” of living in the “NOW”, I made huge strides since reading the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, written by Eckarte Tolle.   For many varied reasons, I chose to change my behavior relating to how I acknowledge my appreciation for life, family, friends, material possessions, and life lessons.  I changed being appreciative and thankful at each event or poiniant moment to being truly thankful each and everyday, every moment if I could.  I’d have to say that I actually did ok with that, and I have continued, I have been honestly and truthfully thankful each day, giving thanks to my Creator and being “Extra” thankful for those special moments that are few and far between. Those moments such as births, marriages, etc.  What I didn’t realize was that although I was appreciative and thankful, I hadn’t truly felt it with every inch of my being until I read the book, A New Earth…

My daughter and I were in a car accident a coupe of months ago. Amazingly, we’re all right.  Physically, we were thrown around, as my car (it felt like) drove over the car that pulled out in front of us, the front end of our car totaled, the tire being bend sideways like a bendy-straw, the car landing on the remaining three tires to be hit by another car head on.  It was terrifying to say the least, but the worst was seeing my six year old daughter being jossled in the seat like a rag doll, her body remained still in the seat, but her legs and arms were jossled. 

My truth about this accident, is that it created several different situations that have proven to be incredible life lessons for me. First, I am thankful because we walked away from it, stiff and sore, to be expected, but in one piece, unbelievable. 

I have never cried so much in my life.  For a good month I couldn’t seem to get the image out of my head, it felt as though the car was moving in slow motion, and that image just kept repeating itself. I kept seeing this car pull in front of me, I keep trying to slam the brakes but the car just wouldn’t stop, and the car that pulled in front of me just kept coming towards us.

  So heres the “wow” moment that I also can’t get out of my head ~ The feeling of hands as large as life holding us in our seats, the air bags didn’t go off, but the feeling of being held in a position as if to protect us from hitting any part of the interior of the car. A feeling I can’t shake either – Being so thankful for my family, my healthy children, my husband, our home, our lives. 

Two days after the car accident, I am painfully reminded again of how precious life is as the news begins to broadcast the unfortunate event of four police officers being shot in the city of Oakland, only 35 minutes away.  Three were gone, with the fourth being on life support so that his body could bless and save four other individuals, save their lives, only a short while later. I have prayed for their families and friends and wish them love and healing through this difficult time.

About a week later, my son, a junior at high school at the time, told me the story of the experience he had at school that day.  They, the high school, had what’s called  “Every 15 minutes” .  As he choked back what I thought to be tears, he told me of the woman who spoke that day.  She was a judge, I believe he said she worked in the traffic division of the courts. She told the story of a little girl, her little sister and mom and dad. They were driving home from dinner one night when their car was hit by a drunk driver. The mother, the father and the little sister were all lost in that accident. The only survivor was the six year old little girl. She said that she had lost so much that day, because not only did she lose her family and become an orphan, but she admitted that this story was hers. She was the little girl that survived. This was why she chose to become a judge in the traffic division of the court system. She spoke about how this affected her life. What it was like getting married and not having her parents their, not having a dad to walk her down the isle, no grandparents for her own children, or great grandparents for their children. I cried like a baby while he told me this story, as I am write now writing about it.

So what’s the moral of this blog…Be thankful, feel blessed and appreciate the life you have today! It may change in a minute, it may be different tomorrow. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I can’t wait to tell my grandchildren how much they are valued (when the time comes), I’ve all ready told my children!

Have a blessed and wonderful day!

So I went to Borders today. I thought I’d browse, find a couple of good books to read, maybe find another beautiful tarot or oracle deck to add to my collection.

However, today I didn’t find either. What I did find was a huge addition of new books with a new subject added to the usual section of books that I normally look at. Each book referenced the year 2012.

Some books depicted the year 2012 as being the end of the earth as we know it, some referenced it as a new time of love and spirituality unveiled, with the statement that those of us sensitives will and are currently preparing ourselves for the day when the veil is lifted and our intuitive and healing abilities will become the norm, giving an emphasis to those who may now be struggling to take this time to learn, open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable to the new wave of spiritual air.

I’m curious what people think about this. I’m trying not to sit in fear of the world ending, as my intuitive gut tells me that it is more about the veil lifting and those of us who are intuitives will be able to feel “normal” due to the changes that will come.

Things in our world are all ready in such a state, with our United States being at war, and for what? That is a subject for a different day and a different blog! Our economic state is frightening, our schools are rated the worst compared to most of the schools around the world. Our children clearly have different ideas than we did as children. Our ozone layer is disappearing leaving us vulnerable to the sun’s damaging rays. As we struggle to win our own war with our government and the everyday people that the time is now to be green!!! Global warming isn’t going to happen, it has happened, we are only just now beginning to see changes and damage that it has in store for us if we don’t do something drastic, and not sooner, more like yesterday!

If you would like to respond please do, I would love to hear other folks opinions on these subjects, most importantly the 2012 theory!

Wishing you all love, light and laughter!

DOLPHINS

The attached video is of dolphins playing with silver colored rings which they have the ability to make under water to play with. It isn’t known how they learn this, or if they’re born with the ability.

http://healingintuitivegarden.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/blowingrings.wmv

As if by magic, the dolphin does a quick flip of its head and a silver ring appears in front of its beak. The ring is a solid, donut shaped bubble about 2-ft across, yet it doesn’t rise to the surface of the water. It stands upright in the water like a magic doorway to an unseen dimension. The dolphin then pulls a small silver donut from the larger one. Looking at the twisting ring for one last time, a bite is taken from it, causing the small ring to collapse into thousands of tiny bubbles which head upward towards the water’s surface. After a few moments the dolphin creates another ring to play with. There also seems to be a separate mechanism for producing small rings, which a dolphin can accomplish by a quick flip of its head.

An explanation of how dolphins make these silver rings is that they are “air-core vortex rings”. Invisible, spinning vortices in the water are generated from the tip of a dolphin’s dorsal fin when it is moving rapidly and turning. When dolphins break the line, the ends are drawn together into a closed ring. The higher velocity fluid around the core of the vortex is at a lower pressure than the fluid circulating farther away. Air is injected into the rings via bubbles released from the dolphin’s blowhole. The energy of the water vortex is enough to keep the bubbles from rising for a few seconds of play time.

I want to share a story with you. For those of you who know you have a gift but are afraid to share it…

Approximately a year and a half ago, I woke up one morning to hearing three names. My spirit guides kept repeating them, the names will be changed to protect the innocent-lol) Carol, Howard and Jean. I began asking everyone I ran across that morning if they were related to Carol, Howard and Jean. Nope, Nope, Nope, so by the time I got to work I thought maybe I was just trying to drive myself nuts and just obsessing. Anyway, I walked into my shop, and “Pat” was at the front desk smiling away, wishing me a warm hello. Hello I said, and couldn’t help myself, in fact, it came out like word vomit. “Pat? Do you know a Carol, Howard and a Jean?” “Yes” Pat said. “Carol is my mother-in-law, Tom’s mom.” I said “Ok fine? And Howard and Jean have passed away right?”

“No” Pat said. “Howard is still alive, but Jean has passed” I couldn’t help myself, because the message I got that morning was very clear! Not to mention, I had no idea who these folks were! Carol was the daughter and Howard and Jean were her parents, and my message was that they were both passed and they were saying hello to Carol. I didn’t know what to say to Pat. All I knew is that the message I got and the information Pat gave me were different. I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly knew it, but I couldn’t say it. Jean was coming through not just to say Hi, but to help Howard cross over, it was his time, my message was a bit confused, I thought they were both passed, but Jean was on the other side waiting for her soul mate, Harold to cross over to her so that they could be together.

I asked Pat “Are you sure?” She looked at me like I was nuts! She didn’t really believe in all my “witchy-woo” stuff, but I knew what was about to happen, thank goodness the phone rang to distract us both from the conversation that neither one of us was comfortable with at that point.

Pat came to work the following day to tell me that Howard had crossed over the night before at dinner. The family was having there evening meal, and Howard took a breath and leant over his plate, yes, he was gone. Pat began to cry a bit as she shared the news with me, I felt choked up and all I could say to her was “I’m sorry”, but inside I felt almost a sense of relief, I knew it was going to happen.

“Remember yesterday morning when I asked you about Carol, Howard and Jean…?” She looked at me with a blank stare and suddenly looked as though she was about to pass out. Spirit doesn’t always give you exact details, times or what exactly will or did happen, but trust what you get, write it down, it could be hours, days, months, years,,,or even minutes in my case, but at some point it will all make senseto you, you (or I) will be validated. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten information and had no idea what to do with, who to give it to, or what the signs were for, because maybe I hadn’t been shown yet. Trust me when I say when I give a reading, it’s interactive. I just need to say that it’s not up to me to figure out the puzzle, they give me the pieces that will fit for you!

So bless you and your spirit guides, and may they help guide you along your path, may you be open to listen and to be open to their love.

Bright blessings to you.

OK, I just dropped my six year old off at school, she is now officially a first grader.  Six years going on sixteen!  She is now the offical “know-it-all”, as we all became when we entered into first grade!  She makes it known here at home that the world is her oyster, and if we’re lucky, she’ll share a piece of it with you, if she feels like…

My almost sixteen year old, is working feverishly (not really) to obtain his driving permit.  I apparently want him to get more then he does!  I’m now to the point of threatening him, daring to take his visits with his new girlfriend away if he doesn’t finish a chapter….Why can’t they all strive for independence?

 It’s funny, the six year old is so independent, and now that the other two are almost grown, and the oldest is 21, they are far from it? 

The 21 year old, well, she can’t seem to remove the cell phone further than 1 inch from her ear.  A new boy perhaps? Perhaps!  A new job perhaps? Nope, not today.

So, I’ve been told that you only need to ask your angels once, for what ever it is that you need assistance or guidance in,,,ok, I’ve asked once everday for assistance on how to be a good, patient, and thoughtful/compassionate, strong parent….Should I make that once every hour?

How many times have you found yourself doubting your thoughts, not trusting?  I did that today, and then I began to remember….

I started reflecting today about something that happened about five and half years ago. It was a rainy day in December.  My daughter and her two friends were upstairs getting  ready to hang out at another friends house only a couple blocks down the street. 

I hate to use this story as an example, but this was truly the first time I had a lesson in trusting, trusting your guides and your angels, actually slap me in the face! 

So on this rainy day, as my daughter and her two friends started out the front door.  I actually heard a loud and authorative voice speak at me saying ”Take her keys away from her and give her your keys to the BMW.!”  I thought I was going crazy! I WAS HEARING VOICES. THEY LOCK PEOPLE UP FOR THAT.   And I also knew that my husband was going to KILL ME if anything happened to our car, if she got into a fender bender or blew a tire because she ran over a curb for the 101st time.  But I digress…

 My daughter only had her license for a month, and her dad gave her an old car so she wouldn’t have to drive ours ~ she was allowed to drive a 1984 Honda civic, it barely ran, the tires looked as though they only had one tread left, the inside of the car was completely falling apart.  I mean that literally!  It was beaten, and it definitely would not have passed a “safe car you can drive” award, in fact it would be the winner of the “scariest, most dangerous cars to be in when involved in an accident!” award.  But my husband bought it for her, it was only meant for her to drive to school and back, he was so thrilled to have been able to give her her first car, and she was excited to get one.

To give you an idea of how bad her car was…When I sat in the car and shut the door, pieces of the ceiling would begin falling all over, chunks of the roof and foam would float down, landing in my hair and in my lap.  But what the heck? I thought, as my husband handed her the keys to her first car.  She wasn’t sure, and neither was I, if she should be thankful or upset, but she smiled, gave him a hug and said a sincere thank you to him, she was genuinely thankful for the thought of her step dad getting her a car, what 16 year old doesn’t want a car to drive around in, but then there was the message that the poor decrepit car sent to both of us ~ DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!  LOL

Anyway, it was a rainy day, it was like the second week in December. When I met my daughter and her two friends at the front entrance way of our home to hug her good bye before she drove off to enjoy her new exciting freedom with her two friends, on this particular stormy night. I wanted to tell them to stay home and a rent a movie, anything, just to keep them home.  I remember them talking about driving around to see the Christmas lights in town, so the nastalgic part of me gave in. 

It was about 7:30, maybe 8 pm, and it was dark outside.  As she bounced to the front door, I yelled out for her to wait, I ran out the door, and as I hugged her, I felt a feeling, and I needed to hug her again, and didn’t want to let go, and as I was wrapping my arms around her skinny little torso, I heard the voice, I still believe to this day that it was an angel.  It was an authoritative voice, similar to that voice that my dad (whom had passed away the year before) used when I was to heed his advice, and I couldn’t help but listen.  I told her to hold on, I went into the kitchen grabbed my purse and chased after her in the walkway outside, yelling to her to wait and come back in.  Usually she says something like “I’m OK mom, don’t worry” She didn’t, I saw her turn around, almost like a soldier, she walked up to me, didn’t say a word and looked at me like “What are you doing mom?”  I barely had to dig, it felt like someone was in my purse helping to hand me the keys to my car.  I handed them to her without a second thought and told her “It’s raining you know, so drive slow and be careful!”.  “I will” she said as she smiled, “I’m actually a bit nervous about driving in the dark in the rain, so don’t worry Mom, I’ll be cool”. She was so excited that she actually was being allowed to drive mom’s big black BMW.  She and her friends hopped in the car and off the went!

I went upstairs, looking forward to some quiet time to watch a movie. My husband was downstairs, beginning a hand of poker with about five other friends.  The poker game felt as if it were getting louder and louder, the guys were probably losing money, based on the shrieks of them that sounded like girls being pulled away from big sale at Neiman Marcus…”NO, NO, NO” they cried.  I’d hear pounding of fists on the table, and an occasional naughty remark of one to another commenting on each others skills of playing cards or just comments to throw them off their game.  Because it was getting so loud, I started getting cranky because I couldn’t hear my movie.  So I shut the bedroom door, turned up the TV, and grabbed the cordless phone and laid it next to me. 

It had to have been about 40 minutes after my daughter left the house, the card game was well on its way, based on the amount of open liquor containers on the kitchen counter and the stack of cash placed neetly in the middle of the table. 

The phone rang. I ran upstairs to get the phone, it was my daughters friend.  She was panicked and with a rush of energy exploded the words “We got in an accident, the car is totalled, your daughter is talking with a couple of guys that were in the other car, and we’re waiting for the police and the ambulance.  What do we do?”  I told her to hold on that we would be there in a minute.  Her father was playing cards with my husband, so before I had a chance to run down stairs and tell my husband what had happened, she beat me to it.  She was talking with her dad on his cell phone, and it was fair to say that based on the look on my husbands face….he knew based on the conversation his friend was having with his daughter.  I then called my daughters cell phone, she picked up but sounded really shook up. She told me what happened, about the ambulance through the light and the sirens, the car behind the ambulance who hit her straight on like a “T”, did not have his lights on and was chasing the ambulance.  All my heart and my mouth could muster was “Are you alright?” “Yes,” she paused “a few bruises, my arm hurts, it hit the steering wheel, but “M” was on the passengers side were the car actually hit, she’s pretty sure she’s got whiplash and her arm is hurting her”.  I turned to my husband, and all he could muster to say was, “what’s the  bleeping, f&*%ing  car like?” ”Did she total it?”, “F&*%, F&*%, F&*%!”  He was pissed to say the least!

 I was so thankful that I handed my daughter the keys that nite, that I listened to my angels.  My daughter and her two friends would be dead today, maybe badly injured at best, if they had taken her car and not mine. 

I wanted to be angry at my husband though, for not asking about our daughter, and seeming to appear much more concerned about the car then the child.  But the next day, I realized that he had changed our insurance coverage the day before the accident from full to liability coverage only.  He wasn’t mad at her, he was mad at himself, maybe a bit at me for giving her the keys,,,,he was mad at himself for changing the insurance coverage, without talking it over with me, and the biggest reason - he went against his own angels “voice”. 

You live and you learn I guess! 

I’ve heard that voice a couple of other times since then, and I do exactly as it says!

You should too! I have never believed in Coincidences ~ there just aren’t any,,,every thing happens for a reason!

Songs chosen from my kids

generation…

Today is a day to recover, the past few days have taken their toll on me.  I took my youngest daughter to the fair here in town. We looked at all of the local art exhibits and crafts. It was actually inspiring, even my daughter came home and began drawing and painting pictures that she wants me to enter for her in the fair, with her goal being a blue ribbon!  She’s very excited about getting a ribbon.  I don’t have the heart to tell her that she’ll have to wait another year. 

My oldest daughter, of course, is wondering the town of Napa somewhere. She and her new boyfriend are incognito, and I am unable to find her.  The last conversation we had was of course about her drinking and driving. She doesn’t like to be told what to do, so she left.  It’s going on two weeks since I’ve seen her.  I did speak to her three days ago, when I called her cell phone and left a message, she was kind enough to call me back to say that she was staying with the boyfriends family.  How long will it be before they grow tired of her antics, her sponging, she (I’m positive) has no money to pay them for food or lodging. And, like she has done in the past, “works” the parents into believing that her parents don’t like her, do not understand her, etc.  But what I have come to realize, she chooses these boys, based on their living situations.  They all seem to live at home, helping to care for the somewhat torn and dysfunctional families.  Instead of allowing them their own space to heal, she comments to me how she  told the mother “what our family has been through” to help that mother feel as though her life is not so awful.  The sad thing for me is that the story she tells is not the truth.  That is hurtful, it hurts me and my husband, because we can’t figure out why she feels the need to dramatize her own life, when things at home are fine.  Truly our only issues are those relating to our daughter and her addictions.  Her addiction to alcohol and to drama. 

 I have a friend who is like 25 years sober, she too is an alcoholic and has been a huge savor to me, allowing me a window into what it is my daughter is thinking, feeling, and the drama, the need to make up insanity so that she will continue to have an excuse to drink.  I can’t thank my friend enough for all of her useful support and love.  Especially when I think that it is a natural tendency for us parents to lay blame on ourselves for what our adult children choose to do with their lives.  It does help to know that I shouldn’t do that, I still find myself occasionally blaming myself, but at least I am to a point now where I can sit in stillness and even meditate on what those emotions are about, and why this life lesson is here for me at this time.

 So I found myself yesterday feeling quite ill, not sure if what from the heat exhaustion from the previous day or the unrelenting heat of the day itself?  Or just a flu bug?  Not really sure, only knowing that I was unable to get out of bed until about 1 am last night before I felt somewhat normal. The temperature had fallen to about 80 degrees, and the cool coastal breeze, all though it wasn’t much to speak of, still helped as it managed to make it’s way in through my bedroom window.  I woke up this morning feeling stiff and my back aching, but overall much better than yesterday! 

After meditating this morning, I realized that I may have been to “open” while at the county fair.  Empathy can be a great thing when I can control it, but I have learned that the more I become able to channel, control those energies that are trying so hard to speak to me, and my ability to be empathic, I have yet to control the empathic part.  When I find myself around someone who has had a bad day, I feel it. When someone has been sad or depressed I feel it…you get the picture. But I thought I was doing OK with controlling the feelings I was getting, not letting them wear me down.  But I think the day at the fair was to much, and I unfortunately did not prepare or center myself before walking into it.  So I wonder if my day of feeling like absolute crud yesterday was the recovery of taking on everyone’s issues empathically or was it just the flu? 

All I know is that today is a better day, a more positive day, a calm day, I feel more grounded today then I have in the past three days,,,,so with that being said I am going to go read a book and relax

I just want to touch on the word “thankful” today.

I am thankful for my family, my home, my friends, my health, and for the school that teaches and nurtures my children, but boy am I glad today is the last of school!~

8 weeks of not having to wake up and argue with my children! Thankful for that!!!

I’m trying my hardest right now to keep myself calm. To remain in stillness. And all I can do in this moment is ask myself one and only question, What for? All of the inspiration that I have felt for the past two weeks feels as if it has been stomped on. I’ve been working so hard. I really do not want to think that it all comes to this,,,that this is the reason I have been doing this awakening process for, the meditating, the long hours of “homework” and self realization, all my personal growth. WOW.
My oldest daughter, she 21 years of age, just walked in the front door with some story about how she saw a car near her (wasn’t sure if she said it was in front of her or behind her) any way, the BMW car hit a coyote, the same coyote that she said she had just swayed away from to avoid being the one who hit the coyote. The story was filled with all the drama details one would expect to really try a make the magnitude of her story hit home. A story to make you stop whatever else you were thinking and be shocked and stunned by the sadness of how this poor forest little critter was somehow in the wrong place at that wrong time. How from the impact to flight and flew through the air a few yards…

I began to get pulled in. I start to feel sypathy (good for me no empathy this time) I stopped, I began to hear the voice in my head stop, and there was stillness. I was calm, as if someone had turned the “You should definitely be angry button” on off. Amazing. I totally got it in that moment. I didn’t get drawn in to my daughter’s drama, and the I truly became aware.

Every page that I read in the book The New Earth, every web/podcast I saw of Echkarte Tolle and Oprah Winfrey discussing the book, every experience I have had in the past few weeks that I have applied the stillness method too…all the growth I have felt, the calmness and peace I felt in my life, the restlessness that disappeared….DAMNIT!

So I get that once you start you can’t turn back, say Echarte Tolle. But do I now start over? I’M PISSED, I’M ANGRY, HURT, DISAPOINTED, AFRAID, FEARFUL….ok, yeah, so I’m aware of it, but right now in this moment, when I should be sleeping, at 12:52 am, I want to back hand, bitch slap my daughter.

Did she think I wouldn’t notice? I realized her words were slurring, and she couldn’t look me directly in the eye. This has happened before, and after the law has been laid down, after everything I have ever said to her,,,,, about driving drunk…..DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT. How could she. I don’t know what to do right now. I told her that if she ever did it again I would never speak to her again. Ok, that may be a bit much, but she knew what I meant. I told her straight up tonight that I couldn’t believe she drove drunk. Her response to me,,,”I only had three beers”. ARE YOU FRICKEN KIDDING ME????????? Only 3 beers. One beer and I’m typsy turvy and can’t imagine taking the chance of getting behind the wheel of a car. So who do I blame, her birth father who was an addict (to everything, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever), and pet myself on the top of the head and be a hipocrate and say well, it’s not really her fault, it’s genetic. What a joke. Or do I say she’s an alcoholic and needs to hit rock bottom before whe learns anything? Or do I play the tough love card and say to her what I really want to. Which is to stand my ground and follow through with what I said to her before,,,figure your shit out, get out of the house, sober up before you come back. I can’t stand it when your kids put you in these situations.

So for starters, I am telling her that she needs to go to an AA meeting, because she’s clearly lost perpective again of her drinking problem. And the worst and most important thing to be said, to be learned, and to be engraved in her eyelids,,,if you drink you dont’ drive because you will, it’s only an issue of when, kill or tragically wound someone else, Or yourself. Is it helping that her step dad goes out to softball the night before, puts down a few brewskies and then drives home….Great message to sent to your kids,,,I hate being the martyr but I don’t drink, maybe one drink at Christmas dinner and one on my birthday…
I hope that there aren’t to many other mothers out there that are having to go through this too. God bless!
Micha’ele

I will try to stay in the stillness in the “I am”, and look at her as part of me, part of the “I am”. I will not judge her, I love her unconditionally, and I know this is her lesson. It just hurts when it’s your own child to stand there and “Let it go, and let God”.

I’m feeling torn. There’s a small part of me that feels irritated, only because I don’t want to have to clean it up. But the rest of me is feeling a bit in awe of what I saw on my porch this morning. I walked outside, and had a swallow dive and dip at my head. It scared me a bit, having seen the movie birds, my first reaction was that I was being attacked. Then I realized in was only one bird. As it flew in circles above my head a few times, I realized it was trying to get my attention, if not scare me away. So the small creature did it’s job, it did scare me a bit, but didn’t scare me away. Actually, it brought me in closure for a view when I saw that it was protecting a nest.

Well, I now have a sweet little birds nest nestled in my copper flower basket hanging on my front door.

Click on link to view the nest…
Swallows nest in my copper flower basket

So you can see my dilemma. If anyone has ever had birds nest near or on their home, you know how messy

so I’m now a true believer in spirit intervention. It’s funny I read a blog on Lisa Williams blog and I laughed out loud. She was talking about the same thing. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve been trying to set up a computer that I used to use at my salon (that I closed about three weeks ago, thank goodness). Anyway, I’m trying to set it up so that I can start working on my website/blog and Reiki manual. I begin to open a yahoo website, and blam, nothing opens and I’m getting error messages that say that I’ve got some type of error in my “lookup file”. So then I download aol, I open it up and the page is white! Nothing shows up, so I’ve been working on it for three hours everyday for the past week, and I it all seems like wasted time. I’d tried something strange, as I heard it from my guides and I did it, I did a system restore to a month ago, I have no idea why, just doing what I’m told. Sure enough it worked! So here I am blogging away! Yeah!

I just got an email from Ruth Finley Person – Wells Fargo Center for the Arts, Santa Rosa, CA. Asking me to help them promote Lisa Williams Medium & Clairvoyant, her show on July 23rd. Amazing! I have no connection to them what so ever, and now all of the sudden I’m putting my mentor on my website to help advertise in this area for tickets to her show. OMG!

HUGS TO ALL AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY!

MICHA’ELE

First I want to apologize for not writing anything about our Easter weekend at the beach as I had promised. I’m still trying to get my thoughts around it. Not because there were any issues with the family’s that went, in fact that was great, but with my own issues around my own family. I have a 21 year old daughter, a 15 year old son and a 5 year old daughter, so needless to say, I was hoping for a glorious family “thing”, and instead I got cranky kids and a husband who wasn’t really in it…so I write about that more later when I’m not feeling so frustrated about it and can truly get the lesson in it. So I’m going to move onto the next lesson that I am getting and am also still trying to figure out.

So here’s my thing recently, I have noticed some major changes in my life, in my self over the past couple of weeks. It’s the everyday miracles that I have begun to notice the most intensely. When I am alone I can sense the littlest things in my life and how amazing it all seems. The problem I am having isn’t with meditation or mindfulness when I am alone. Noticing the flowers, the birds chirping in the trees (at 2am in the morning) seems so amazing.

O.K., the predicament I seem to be in at this moment seems to be that when I am surrounded by family and friends, and how caught up in their negativity they seem to be, I can seem to control my empathic abilities. I begin to feel the negative energy consume me. I have meditated on this today, and I began to sob for an hour. I know I cannot change them. I read Echkarte Tolle’s book last week about A New Earth, and I can’t believe how it resonated with me, I saw myself in every page. But how do I block the negativity of being an empathic person. How to I stop the absorption of this toxic substance from each person I seem to share my life with.

I will continue to meditate on this until I can find some resolution. I look at the photos like the one I posted and brings me back to a moment when I was oblivious to it all. Awwhh,,,the old days….

Warm wishes and loved filled blessings to everyone. and a wish for all my friends and family that I may consciously give each of you a drop of freshness and light and love into each of your beings to help you in your change, in your growth and your paths to enlightment.

Namaste
Micha’eleMy Angels on Earth